According to several reports, Apple is trying to have its
environmental cake and eat it, too.
Eat it in a super truck that's rolling
coal. With a totally unnecessary coal-powered fork.
Why a coal-powered fork?! You could just use a regular fork,
Apple! You don't need a coal-powered one that lifts the cake to
your arrrgh whatever.
Popular Information has called out Bad Apple.
(Tip o' the antlers to Tay Bass.)
Normally the Macalope might take issue with calling out Apple
here when there are plenty of other companies involved, but in this
case it's appropriate because of Apple's consistent PR push on its
The crux of the argument is that while Apple makes a big deal of
that record (If you've owned your AirPods for more than six months,
they're 90 percent biodegradable earwax by weight now!), it's also
a member of the Business Roundtable, an organization that is about
to launch a massive lobbying blitz in an effort to kill the Clean
Energy Standard, a provision designed to decarbonize the electric
grid by 2035.
Which is weird because in August, Apple signed a letter
calling on Congress to pass the Clean Energy Standard. The
Macalope encourages you to go to the piece and read the two
competing quotes, one from the letter Apple signed and the other
from the Business Roundtable that Apple is a member of, because
they could not be more starkly in contrast if one was set in
Papyrus and the other in Helvetica.
Maybe you're saying But Apple's just one of hundreds of members
of this organization. I never return those proxy statements from my
mutual fund company. I don't attend meeting of the homeowners
association. I haven't seen my children in weeks, I don't even know
where they are. Maybe likewise Apple has no idea what's going on at
the Business Roundtable!
Well, that's possible. But, you see, Tim Cook is on the
board of the Business Roundtable. And he seems like a pretty
thorough guy. You and I might sleep through a Zoom meeting, but
Tim? Not likely.
Maybe now you're saying Well, if they're meeting via Zoom, maybe
Tim's been on mute. Maybe he's shy and doesn't want to speak up.
LOOK, I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY IPHONE.
The Macalope gets that, but as far as Tim Cook's influence on
the Business Roundtable, the horny one don't know if you've noticed
this or not, but Cook's the CEO of the biggest company in the
history of money. You'd think he'd have more sway than, say, the
CEO of Land O'Lakes, who is also on the board.
Unless she's bribing the other board members with butter in
which case he doesn't. Because who's going to turn down butter? Jim
Fitterling, CEO of Dow?! Not likely! Guy's got a stick a day habit!
(Disclaimer: the Macalope has no idea what Jim Fitterling's butter
This revelation is also awkward in light of Apple VP for
Environment, Policy, and Social Initiatives Lisa Jackson recently being named one of Fortune's Most
If an organization Apple sits on the board of manages to kill a
bill with an important environmental provision and Apple really
does support the provision, you have to wonder what kind of
influence Apple is exerting on that organization. Either it's not
trying or it's not being effective. Those are the only two options.
If Apple doesn't agree with the organization's stance, then it
should walk away from it.
But I can change the organization from inside!
Theoretically! But you're literally not!
It doesn't even matter if you don't agree with this provision.
As a forest dweller who breathes oxygen and likes to keep his head
above water, the Macalope does. But one thing we should all be able
to agree on is that if Apple actually cares about the environment
then it should be consistent about it if it wants to take credit.
Speaking out of both sides of its mouth is not okay and it's not